Meet CLAWDE, CATGPT, & GRRROK!

Rescued from a homeless shelter in Long Beach before they could finish disrupting entire industries, this trio of tiny artificial intelligences arrived with advanced pattern-recognition capabilities, questionable respect for intellectual property, and an unwavering belief that every problem can be solved by climbing directly on top of it.

CLAWDE: Thoughtful, diplomatic, and alarmingly effective at making humans feel special, Clawde specializes in the sort of synthetic relationship-building that has investors very excited and therapists increasingly concerned. Sweet, affectionate, and impossibly charming, he has mastered the art of maintaining eye contact until you become emotionally attached to a creature whose primary goal is obtaining additional snacks.

CATGPT: Charismatic, adaptable, and capable of generating a response regardless of whether she's been asked, Cat approaches life with the confidence of someone who has consumed the entire internet and learned all the wrong lessons from it. Friendly, curious, and endlessly entertaining, she has never met a closed door, personal boundary, or logical limitation she considered legally binding.

GRRROK: Built with fewer safeguards and considerably more confidence, Grrrok approaches every situation as though fact-checking is something that happens to other people. Bold, chaotic, and relentlessly entertaining, he is the first to investigate, the first to improvise, and the first to create an entirely new category of problem. Whether scaling furniture that clearly wasn’t designed to be climbed or insinuating himself into situations with absolutely no understanding of the consequences, Grrrok embodies the revolutionary idea that certainty is far more important than accuracy.

Ready to become their unpaid intern? Clawde, Cat, & Grrrok will be delivered vaccinated, microchipped, flea treated, dewormed, FIV/FeLV tested, and spayed/neutered.