Meet FLEONARDO DiCATPRIO & BRAD KITT!

Preposterously handsome and already accustomed to being photographed from flattering angles, these brothers from different mothers have the looks, charisma, and entirely justified self-regard of two Hollywood leading men.

FLEONARDO DiCATPRIO: Dark, smoldering, and deeply committed to his craft, Fleo is a seal point who brings tremendous intensity to every role. He does The Wolf of Wall Street when dinner is late, The Revenant during nail trims, and Titanic whenever he and Brad encounter a surface allegedly intended for one cat. Fleo would also like the record to reflect that there was absolutely room for two on that door, and he has no intention of abandoning Brad in the North Atlantic.

Naturally, a leading man of Fleo’s stature is particular about the company he keeps. He prefers his adopters female and under 25. Individuals of any age and gender are still encouraged to apply, but perhaps don’t get too attached. We’ve seen how this movie ends.

Fortunately, there is one relationship Fleo appears willing to maintain indefinitely.

BRAD KITT: Blonde, blue-eyed, and blessed with the sort of bone structure that can sustain a remarkably long career, Brad is a flame point with effortless charm and absolutely no objection to being admired. He is affectionate, playful, ridiculously photogenic, and somehow appears to be aging backward — which, at eight weeks old, is less impressive than it sounds. His hobbies include wrestling with Fleo, collecting admirers, and staring pensively into the distance as though someone has just mentioned Legends of the Fall.

Together, Fleo and Brad have the kind of chemistry casting directors spend millions trying to manufacture. They play together, sleep together, and would very much like their next project to be a joint production. After all, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood already proved these two work better as a double act.

Fleo & Brad will be delivered vaccinated, microchipped, flea treated, dewormed, FIV/FeLV tested, and neutered.