Meet BLAIR CLAWLDORF, SERENA VAN FUR WOODSEN, & DAN HUMPFURRY!

Born to a single mother in San Bernardino - a fact they have worked tirelessly to erase from the historical record - these cuties arrived with the kind of beauty, ambition, and social-climbing instincts usually reserved for people arguing over penthouses on the Upper East Side.

BLAIR CLAWLDORF: Elegant, demanding, and carrying herself with the confidence of someone who uses a seating chart as a weapon, Blair approaches every interaction as a carefully orchestrated power play. Her striking gold-and-blue eyes only enhance the effect, giving her the look of a kitten who has already identified your weaknesses and plans to bring them up at brunch. She wants the best bed, the best toy, and the best human, and, frankly, she deserves them.

SERENA VAN FUR WOODSEN: Serena possesses the rare ability to create absolute chaos while appearing completely innocent. She’ll knock something off a shelf, disappear from the scene, return twenty minutes later looking breathtaking, and somehow leave everyone blaming somebody else. Wrapped in flawless white fur with golden eyes, she drifts through life powered almost entirely by beauty, charm, and an inability to stay out of situations that do not concern her.

DAN HUMPFURRY: Dan spends most of his day observing the nonsense around him while maintaining the belief that he is fundamentally different from everyone else. Thoughtful and handsome, he is deeply committed to the narrative that he is an outsider despite spending nearly all of his time desperately trying to sit with the cool kids. If he had opposable thumbs, he would absolutely write a scathing exposé about Upper East Side corruption before immediately accepting an invitation to join them for dinner.

Blair, Serena, and Dan will be delivered vaccinated, microchipped, flea treated, dewormed, FIV/FeLV tested, and spayed/neutered.