Meet LAUREL PURRK!

Rescued from a park in Azusa alongside her three extravagantly fluffy children, this stunning lynx point has officially retired from motherhood and is seeking a permanent residence where the only adolescent drama will be whatever she chooses to watch on television.

With her luxurious medium-to-long coat, striking blue eyes, and the kind of effortless beauty that makes other women reconsider their skincare routines, Laurel looks like she belongs in a multimillion-dollar beach house in Cousins. Instead, she spent her formative months raising three children in a public park, an arrangement that fell considerably short of the lifestyle to which she feels entitled.

Like Laurel Park, she’s a beautiful single mother who has devoted herself to her children while quietly fantasizing about a future in which nobody needs anything from her. Unlike her namesake, however, Laurel has no intention of spending the next several years watching her offspring make catastrophically poor romantic decisions. The children have been raised. Her obligations have been discharged. She would now like the house, the alimony, a generous settlement for emotional damages, and a permanent injunction against the presence of other cats.

Despite her rather uncompromising views on feline companionship, Laurel is exceedingly affectionate with humans, whom she considers vastly superior company. She adores attention, enthusiastically solicits pets, and is perfectly willing to become emotionally codependent with someone who has opposable thumbs. Having spent enough time sharing accommodations with other felines, she intends to devote her considerable charms to a human family who appreciates the benefits of an exclusive relationship.

Laurel is vaccinated, microchipped, flea treated, dewormed, FIV/FeLV negative, and spayed.