Meet PURRCE BROSNAN!

Found wandering South Central with no siblings, no mother, and apparently no representation, this absurdly handsome little gentleman has already mastered the most important lesson of the Bond franchise: when your origin story becomes inconvenient, simply acquire a tuxedo and reinvent yourself. It just so happens Purrce came dressed for the role.

With luxuriant long black-and-white fur and the kind of permanent formalwear normally reserved for casinos in Monaco, state dinners, and infiltrating the lair of an eccentric billionaire, Purrce has the unmistakable air of someone who expects his water shaken, not stirred. He is suave. He is debonair. He remains, for legal reasons, unlicensed to kill.

Like his namesake, Purrce combines leading-man looks with considerable charm. He is playful, affectionate, curious, and exceptionally social - the sort of kitten who enters a room as though the opening credits have already started and everyone else is merely waiting to learn their role in his movie.

Although his early life remains classified - how one spectacularly fluffy baby ended up alone on the streets of South Central is information MI6 has thus far declined to release - what we do know is that Purrce has completed his extraction from the field and is now seeking his next assignment: infiltrating a permanent home, neutralizing unattended Churus, and establishing control of the largest available section of your bed.

The name is Purrce. Purrce Brosnan. And unlike 007, he is absolutely prepared to settle down and will be delivered vaccinated, microchipped, flea treated, dewormed, FIV/FeLV tested, and neutered.