Meet QUEEN PURRNELOPE!

Rescued before she could spend twenty years staring across the wine-dark sea waiting for somebody competent to finally show up, this tiny sovereign has traded life outdoors for her own temporary Ithaca - and, like her namesake, she has absolutely no intention of settling for whichever idiot happens to wander into the palace first.

Beautiful, clever, and blessed with the quiet confidence of a woman who knows most men couldn’t string the bow if their lives depended on it, Purrnelope has standards. She is affectionate, playful, exceptionally charming, and perfectly happy to entertain prospective suitors, but occupying her couch, consuming her provisions, and declaring yourself worthy of her hand will get you exactly as far as it did the last hundred guys.

Indeed, Purrnelope prefers strategy to desperation. She’ll observe. She’ll deliberate. She may even metaphorically weave an entire tapestry while considering your application, then unravel it overnight just to buy herself more time. But don't mistake this for indecision. After all, history suggests a rigorous screening process is entirely warranted.

Like any queen worth waiting twenty years for, Purrnelope understands that beauty may attract an audience, but brains are how you keep control of the palace. She is more than capable of running the household while everyone else is off getting lost at sea, angering Poseidon, or making catastrophically poor decisions with women on islands. All she asks in return is excellent food, abundant affection, comfortable furniture to annex, and loyal subjects who understand that the mortgage may be in their name, but the palace belongs to her.

Purrnelope is vaccinated, microchipped, flea treated, dewormed, FIV/FeLV negative, and spayed.