Meet CADY HAIRON, KAREN SMEWTH, REGINA GRRRGE, & GRETCHEN WHISKERS!

Rescued as neonates and bottle-fed into spectacular levels of entitlement, these four have emerged convinced that humans are staff, laps are public property, and closed doors are a feline rights violation.

Indeed, what began as the fairly straightforward business of keeping four orphaned kittens alive has somehow produced a tiny, extremely vocal social hierarchy governed by relentless demands for attention, unrestricted access to your person, and the unshakable conviction that whatever is happening, they should be at the center of it. In short, we didn’t bottle-raise kittens. We accidentally created the Plastics.

CADY HAIRON: Like her namesake, Cady entered civilization knowing absolutely nothing and adapted with disturbing speed. Sweet, curious, and deceptively innocent, she has mastered toys, laps, and the devastating effectiveness of looking helpless while quietly controlling everyone around her. Having arrived from another world with no understanding of our customs, she has learned remarkably quickly that humans are both easily manipulated and extremely useful - a discovery she appears fully prepared to exploit.

KAREN SMEWTH: Karen doesn’t always know what is happening, but she is delighted to be involved and would like to discuss it at maximum volume. Exceptionally sweet, gloriously earnest, and operating with very little interference from unnecessary analysis, she approaches every human with absolute faith that eventually they will pick her up. Karen doesn’t need to understand the assignment because she has already climbed into your lap, started yelling, and somehow received full credit.

REGINA GRRRGE: Possessing the kind of RBF usually acquired only after years of disappointment with other people, Regina is just 8 weeks old but already looks like she has asked to speak to the manager twice. Fortunately, the contempt is largely cosmetic. Relentlessly social and entirely certain that she belongs at the center of whatever is happening, Regina doesn’t wonder whether everyone is obsessed with her; she assumes they are, considers that the natural order of things, and would nevertheless like considerably more attention.

GRETCHEN WHISKERS: Gretchen has a tremendous amount to say and absolutely no internal mechanism for determining whether it needs to be said. Affectionate, playful, and pathologically involved in everyone else’s business, she will follow you, supervise you, interrogate you, and provide running commentary on decisions that have nothing whatsoever to do with her. Her hair is full of secrets. Unfortunately, her mouth is incapable of keeping them there.

Cady and the Plastics will be delivered vaccinated, microchipped, flea treated, dewormed, FIV/FeLV tested, and spayed.