Meet TIM BRADFURD!

Rescued from the euthanasia list at Orange County Animal Control, this spectacularly fluffy brown tabby survived a brush with death worthy of an entire season of The Rookie. Having escaped a government agency with a rather aggressive approach to population control, Tim has transferred to a jurisdiction where public servants are considerably less inclined to execute their constituents.

Named for the LAPD’s notoriously intimidating training officer, Tim Bradford, our miniature recruit possesses all the physical beauty of his television counterpart and absolutely none of his emotional restraint. With his magnificent coat, devastatingly handsome face, and enormous eyes, Tim has leading-man looks but none of Bradford’s talent for emotional repression. His tough exterior lasts approximately three seconds before he begins demanding kisses, cuddles, and confirmation of his extraordinary beauty.

While the original Bradford subjects rookies to grueling psychological exercises known as Tim Tests, this version has developed a more humiliating evaluation process. Recruits must demonstrate proficiency in providing affection, maintaining physical contact, and responding immediately to verbal commands. Failure to comply results in an increasingly theatrical series of vocal reprimands, delivered at a volume entirely disproportionate to the size of the officer issuing them.

Exceptionally affectionate, relentlessly talkative, and constitutionally incapable of respecting professional boundaries, Tim is a walking internal affairs investigation. He fraternizes shamelessly with civilians, treats personal space as an unconstitutional infringement upon his liberties, and conducts interrogations by screaming until someone confesses that he is the most beautiful kitten they have ever seen.

Having encountered enough institutional dysfunction to warrant a congressional investigation, Officer Bradfurd is ready to retire from public service and pursue a career as a spoiled house cat. While he insists on having another young feline officer assigned to his precinct, prospective partners should understand that although he is perfectly willing to share patrol duties, he fully intends to monopolize the department’s human resources.

Tim will be delivered vaccinated, microchipped, flea treated, dewormed, FIV/FeLV tested, and neutered.